My University Graduation Didn't Feel that Important

It mostly felt like any other day. I woke up, made my coffee, had my banana for breakfast and executed my bowel movement. I went to a workout class, came back to shower and opened my laptop to do some beep-boops. Normal day in the life of Max.

The only difference was that my hair was cut and my family was in town.

I put on my clothes, a bit dressier than usual, and my parents picked Amendri and I up from my house to drive us. Kind of felt like high school.

Except the car was driving on the wrong side of the road, the trees were conifers and the sun was nowhere to be seen.

At this moment, I had the epiphany - we were on the way to my graduation.

It may sound strange that I really only realized this now, but if I’m honest, I was never really that excited about my graduation. And I don’t say this to take away from anyone else’s experience either - graduating university (with whatever degree) isn’t easy and is a moment you should be proud of. Just for me, it didn't feel all that special.

Reason number one: I never felt like I wasn’t going to do it. Sure - I had my failed classes, my moments where I felt like I was going to implode or those times where I wasn’t sure I was, ‘built for this,’ but at the end of the day I always knew I would finish. I knew there would come a day where I would be given my diploma and walk across the stage, regardless of how long it took.

Reason number two: It took me a minute. While I (mostly) graduated with everyone who entered with me in my program, majority of the people I knew in High School graduated long before me. Some of them took 2 years due to IB credits, some had their Masters in Aerospace before I even finished undergrad - the point was I kinda felt behind in a way? And now I know I shouldn’t compare myself but it does feel kinda off to have to explain to someone you went to high school with and working at a big 4 why you still haven’t finished undergrad.

Reason number three: My last two years of school didn’t really feel like school (except the last term). I was working full time and taking 4 classes, a far cry from my third year where I was taking 6 or 7 classes. I also didn’t really know many people in my classes, where in second and third year all my classes were filled with people in my program.

But you know, as I sat there in the hall and saw all the people I got to know over the past couple years walk across the stage and heard the claps and cheers I felt a bit emotional.

I was proud of them. I remember the hours we spent studying for CPEN 312, the countless projects we worked on in the lab and all the delirious messages we sent in our group chats late at night. I knew how they struggled, I knew where they wanted to go and what they wanted to do with their lives. I saw some have moments of character development (lol) and others truly become themselves. To be honest, I never really was that deep into the community but even from the little bit that I got, I was really proud of them.

Then I figured, I guess this is what others must think of me. I hope so anyways. My mom, dad and brother are here. My Aunties from Toronto are here. My girlfriend is here. The people who support me are here for this moment, so it must mean something.

While it still might not be the most momentous day of my life, it was still special. It’s a day that marks a change, something new. Something scary, daunting. I don’t know quite yet where this will take me but I know that I will always have support.

And for that, I am grateful.

See you next week (hopefully),
Max

Thank you to my friends and family, for believing in me and pushing me forward. Thank you to my Mom and Dad for always trusting that I will find my way. Thank you to Amendri for believing in me even when I don’t believe in myself. Thank you to everyone who came to my graduation, both in person and in spirit. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.